My husband and I have been planning our family. Today is our 6 month anniversary and in a few months, we plan on trying to get pregnant. For the past week, we've had our 4-year old niece staying with us because her baby sister is in the hospital with RSV. It's been giving us a nice trial run on having kids in the house.
I'm no stranger to having kids around, and my husband's two sisters have 4 kids between them ranging from 14 months to 6 years old. But he also comes from a family who inadvertently taught him that it would be ok if the father of babies never changed a diaper. I am firmly opposed to this idea. I want us to have an equal parent household, where even if I do most of the child-rearing, he doesn't feel like he's doing me a favor if he pitches in.
Having our niece around this last week has made me a bit nervous about having children. She's a typical 4 year old, not wanting to take a nap in the afternoon but falling asleep within ten minutes after she's laid down. I've discovered that she enjoys Prince and the Beach Boys, gets bored with Sinatra, and is in love with Spongebob. She's good about eating a balanced meal, actually liking peas! Everything has gone smoothly having her here; she's sleeping through the night even though she's never spent the night at our house before.
I've found that I get more done with her around. Sure, errands take longer to run and there are more dishes and clothes to wash. When I'm home alone all day (I've been laid off for about a month), I'll get some things done. But I'll have the TV and the computer on in the background and get distracted. With her here, I say, "I'd love to play Barbies with you, but I need to unload the dishwasher." I keep working while seeing her play by herself with advancing story lines and more creativity. I honestly feel like I inhibit her creativity if I play Barbies with her. I never liked to play Barbies, just dress them up in different outfits, so she finds that I'm pretty boring to play Barbies with. When we read books, do crafts, do puzzles, or play a game, I'm there. Anyway, I'm getting more done with her around than I would if I were alone. I even threw a dinner party one night and never felt stressed until I tackled the kitchen after the party. I feel good about having kids around.
My husband comes home from work and has supper with us, watches Spongebob, and falls asleep in his chair. I put her to bed, clean up the kitchen and living room, and watch a bit of TV before waking him up to come to bed. This is what makes me nervous about having kids. I miss my husband.
